- - - INTRO TO BABY 101 - - -

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! This post is for soon-to-be-Mom's eyes only! Do not fritter your time away reading this post unless you absolutely adore baby crap. I decided I would give all you soon-to-be-momma’s out there some inside scoop on the baby items that did and didn't work for us. Every baby is different so please remember that these items are what worked best for our family. If you take my advice and buy one of the items and hate it, please don't hold it against me. Happy registering!



p.s. If you have not started registering, be sure and take a deep relaxation breath before entering Babies R’ Us for the first time. Once you step foot in the store, your life will forever change. I remember I was about 7 months pregnant when I stopped by BRU on my lunch break. Uhhhh no, there will be no registering during lunch hour, it will take much longer. I swear to you, the second I stepped foot in the store I started hyperventilating. It felt like the highchairs, breast pads, teething rings and nipples were going to jump of the shelves and suffocate me! How much baby stuff can there be in one store? The answer is, a SHIT LOAD!



p.s.s. I want to give a shout out to my dear friend Kathleen, whom was so kind to be of assistance to me as I registered. She has also lent me most of the baby supplies I have today. I swear, she could open her own BRU store … she has so much stuff! Kathleen, thanks for everything that you have done for our family (including taking on the role as my breast feeding consultant). You are great. I know some of the items I listed below are not the ones you recommended, please don't hate! Remember, no two babies are alike!




Graco Jumpster - Jungle Jubilations : Homeboy loves his jumper almost more than he loves me. I'm beginning to believe that my son enjoys the "bouncy, bouncy, bouncy" more than other babies, but if I were you I would at least give it a try. He loves it so much that he fell asleep in it the other day. Normal? Um, no don't think so. 




Graco Jumpster - Jungle Jubilations - Graco  - Babies"R"Us



Eurobath Kit : I’m not too sure why this is called a “kit” because it’s so not a kit. Really though, it’s a one piece plastic tub with zero attachments and no additional parts included. I’m not going to be anal and wikipedia the word … but if I did, I’m pretty damn sure this item would not be considered a freaking kit. Anywho, where was I? … During Cole's early days we used a different bather, but I must admit that I'm a bigger fan of this new tub. It dries fast and it‘s the perfect design for newborns as well as toddlers. You see, in the picture below … the right side of the tub has a grove to lay the younger baby in. The left side is a sitting area for your older child. It works great once he/she is sitting up on their own. They just straddle the bump of plastic in the middle and it prevents them from falling face first into the water … which is especially good for me, because you know I get distracted very easily. Basically this sitting area prevents my child from drowning while I take a quick second or two to scold Swazie-Cakes for rubbing her ass on the bath mat.


 Eurobath Kit in White - Primo  - Babies"R"Us


Pampers -  Swaddlers : I recommend stocking up on at least a box or two boxes of the NB (newborn) size. I had a huge stash of size 1's, but when we got home from the hospital, I realized that my little monkey's ass was about the size of my big toe. He was a-swimmin' in the size 1. And for the record, don’t even waste your time with the other brands (a.k.a. Huggies). They straight up suck and have left many-o-outfits turd stained for life.


Pampers 66Ct Swaddlers Diaper Mega Pack - Size 1 - Pampers  - Babies"R"Us


 Sound Spa Lullaby : Not quite sure how my life would be without this beauty. The sound spa was given to me by my mother and I love it. It plays soothing sounds for baby. The heart beat is Cole's white noise of choice. It also has this cool rotating picture projector, which would be great if the dude ever slept on his back. But since I am a bad mom and allowed Cole to sleep on his tummy since week 3, he has never really had the opportunity to lie on his back and enjoy the show. 


Product Image



 Bassinet & Bordered Pique Bedding : This item is not a necessity, but I loved it too much to exclude it from the list. We kept the bassinet in the master bedroom for the first two weeks of Cole's existence. I found myself jumping up and sprinting over to the bassinet any time I would hear him make the tiniest little gurgle or fart. I decided to move it into the nursery and it worked out great. I tried moving him to his crib at around 2 months and he wasn’t having it. I think the crib was too big for him, as he looked like a tadpole in a lake when he was in it. Not that I am the baby whisperer or anything but I could tell he felt more secure, comfy and content when he was in his bassinet. So damn secure, comfy and content that he decided (ok maybe I decided) to stayed in the thing until he was 5 months old.



Bassinet & Bedford Corduroy Bedding




Exergen Temporal Artery Thermometer : I wish I had registered for one of these. I have the old-school thermometer that I have to shove up Cole's booty crack. He hates it! Every time I am at Leah's I love to use her exergen just for fun. I love rolling the thermometer over Cole's head just to remind myself how much I hate dealing with a poo-covered thermometer end. 


Exergen Temporal Artery Thermometer - Exergen Corporation  - Babies"R"Us 



Peanut Shell Baby Sling : It is an understatement to say Cole hated his car seat. He didn't just hate it, he HAAAAA-TTT-ED his car seat! Therefore, he HATED his stroller because it was basically a car seat that sat inside a stroller base. But one thing he did love was the sling, which was my saving grace. I was able to throw on the sling and run errands without any problems. One time, while shopping at Kohl’s***, I decided that I wanted to try something on. Cole was snoozing in the sling and I didn't want to wake him so I slid the sling off and hung it on the hook in the dressing room. After trying on the dress I walked out of the store and completely forgot that I ever had a kid.


Oh I kid; I did not leave my baby hanging in the fitting room. But yes, I really did drape the sling over the clothes-holder-hooker-upper-deal. Don’t go reporting me to CPS people … I put all my weight on the hook before I hung him to make sure it was strong. Also, I was right there next to his hammock just in case hommie tried to squirm his way out.



***The store name, Kohl's  - - -  not to be confused with the name of my son, Cole… like the lady who filled out KOHL’S birth certificate. I wish I was joking, but I’m not. 


Peanut Shell Baby Sling- Retro Blue (Average to Full Size) - Peanut Shell  - Babies"R"Us


 Tootsie modeling the sling at the pediatrician's office


IMG_0447.jpg picture by Lanie5411



The best part about the sling is it’s versatility.  Now that Cole-Man is bigger, he sits up like this kid below. Point of clarification, that is neither Cole nor myself in the picture below. It’s from the Babies R' Us website, thankyouverymuch!


Peanut Shell Baby Sling- Retro Blue (Petite to Small Size) - Peanut Shell  - Babies"R"Us



 All squenched up in his cocoon 


IMG_0446.jpg picture by Lanie5411




Johnny's Baby Socks by Trumpette : I totally worship these things. Take my advice to heart and go buy some now! They are the only socks that would stay on my newborn's teensie baby feet. The little girl mary-janes are precious too.







Well folks, that’s pretty much all I have for today. Let me know if this was the most worthless advice you have ever received.  Or you can also let me know if my advice helped give you a clue on what to look for when shopping for baby. I remember back in the day, when I was knocked up and miserable and hating my life and crabby and grumpy and fat and fatter … oh wait, where am I going with this? Let’s start again … I remember back in the day, when I was knocked up, I constantly searched the internet for advice from other mothers. And quite frankly, I think that if I wouldn’t had known who I was and I read the post above, I would have felt grateful and happy that someone was able to share such grand information. But ok, first of all … duh, I know myself and second of all … duh, I didn’t read this before I had Cole, so I guess therefore it doesn’t make sense and I should quit talking already … but you get my point right?


Now it’s your turn! What was your most prized merchandise for your baby? Also, what baby items did you despise?

1 comment:

Kara said...

Thanks for the post! Any suggestions on an umbrella stroller or every day stroller?