New Chapter

I recently gave my two week notice at work. Holy shit, that still feels weird just writing it. Yes, I'm leaving the best job ever, in order to pursue my dream of becoming a full time photographer. I was never 100% confident about returning to work after my maternity leave, but it was my boss that made me want to come back. Some of my friends tell me about their hideous bosses that micromanage and are workaholics and I have a really hard time relating to them. I can’t help but be thankful for my dear boss. Seriously, I know it sounds crazy, but she is the one that makes me excited for work each day. At one point my Mom even asked me if I like my boss more than her. The answer is no, but it’s a close race. If I were ever to manage others in the workplace I would want to be just like her. She is the most understanding, compassionate and inspiring woman that I have ever met. She taught me how to listen, how to give and most of all, she gave me the encouragement that I needed to be a mother. I was nervous about telling her that I was leaving in fear that she would turn her back, but instead she did the exact opposite. She not only approved of my decision she also supported me. This is how it went down....


I walked into work Monday morning, not having slept all night because I was troubled about what was to come on Q-Day, aka quitting day. Before I turned on my computer, before I got a cup of coffee or even said hello to Kathy…I broke down into a spasm of jumbled words. That’s how things usually role with me, I have everything planned out in a organized manner and when I get face to face I just start rambling. I think the rambling went something like this, “Kathy, I want you to know that I’m really, really, really going to miss you but I have made the decision to leave”. Yes, I’m sure she was caught by surprise but she knew the right words to say; it amazes me how she always knows what to say, no matter the circumstance. She reassured me that I was making the right decision. She even went as far to remind me that this is the only time that I will have with Cole as a baby and that she wishes she would have done the same, but unfortunately it was not an option for her at the time. She has two girls who are actually older than me, but she can still relate and remember how she desired to stay home and raise them as well. One thing that she told me, I hadn’t even thought about, “It’s your choice to have daycare raise your child or for you to raise your Baby Cole, and if you have the option to be there for him, there is no reason for you pass the opportunity up”. Is she the best or what? She totally eased my nerves and reassured my decision that I was very unsure about at the time.


One thing that I want to remember about my boss is the way she cared for people. She was genuinely kind to everyone that stepped into our little cubbie area. You see, it is just her and I that sit in our Expat Services cubbie, so basically we are in each others business all day long. No matter how annoying the Norwegian is that walks into our area, Kathy always greets them with open arms and is willing to help. Sure, at times I’m sure she wants to poke her eyes out with a pencil after dealing with a rather difficult expat, but at the time you would never know. She listens to them, helps them and solves their problems. She offers the best advice when asked, and most of all she is a wonderful mother and wife to her family and husband. On numerous occasions we have been buried with work, and her husband, or one of her daughters will call. No matter what, she always makes herself available and willing to talk. Me on the other hand … I’m all, dude Mom/Pook/Sisiter I’m soooooooooooooooo swamped let me call you back - and then forget they even called. I know it really doesn’t sounds like she is that awesome of a lady from my explanation, because I’m really not that good at describing sometimes, but just trust me … you would all agree if you met her.


Basically, where I’m getting at is that, yeah , ummm I’m leaving happiness to run after uncertainty. Honestly, I’m scared. I’m scared that I will not have the structure that pushes me to do better at my job. I’m scared that I will say, see ya photography and sit on the couch and eat bon-bons all day long. I’m scared that I will get bored and catch myself shopping the makeup counter at Nordstrom’s at 2pm on a random Wednesday afternoon. I’m scared that I will lose my independence by not having a steady income of my own.



I’ve decided it’s a chance that I’m willing to take. There is nothing that makes me happier than when I am behind my camera snapping away. So what do I have to lose? I guess I will just have to see. In the mean time I want to enjoy this time learning from my boss.


Are any of you entrepreneurs? If so, please lend some advice. How do you keep your days structured so that you are productive but at the same time have fun with what you do?


I was planning on my last day being tomorrow, but my boss asked that I stay until the beginning of June. Since I will do almost anything for her, I decided that my new resignation date will be on June 3rd. EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! And then I’m free for photo sessions, keep them-a-coming people. And by the way, thank you for the recent recomendations, I really do appreciate it.


If you would like, let this new chapter in my life inspire you to live your best life. If you're unhappy with your  job or what you are doing with your life, there is never a better time than now to make the change. Strive to achieve what you love the most, and even if you are struggling through your current job in order to get where you want to be, hang in there ... it will arrive soon enough. And if you don't have someone in your life who inspires you to be the best you can be, then feel free to lean on me. I feel that my boss, has taught me well and I am ready to encourage each and everyone of you to follow your dreams.


Carrie said...

Congrats Lane! I have no doubt you will regret this decision. You are an amazing mother, and photographer! I send you the best if luck with your new endeavors.

Dana said...

I understand why you are nervous cause I felt the same way when I quit an amazing full time job to stay home. However, after a year of being a stay at home mom I found the perfect balance of work and being a mother. I am better at my job for having more days off and a better mom for having a great balance. You will find your way on this new path too. Enjoy every minute of Cole's young life!