It's Not You, It's Me

Breaking up is hard to do...






Tomorrow my good friend, the breast pump, and I will go our separate ways. I feel like Mr. Medela and I have developed quite the bond over the past seven months. I'm happy to see the pump go, but at the same time a little sad.



Saddened mainly because I know this will be the last couple of days that I am able to breast feed my child. Also, because I know Cole will be the last and only child that I will have given birth too, and therefore the last baby that I will nurse. Yes, one day we will adopt, but it's not feasible to breastfeed a child that you do not give birth to.  On the other hand I'm happy as hell, because dude ... do you know what it means not having to breast feed your child or pump every 3 hours? It means complete and totally authority to do as I please. From here on out I'm no longer on a time restriction 24 hours a day.



I remember one particular day during the first few weeks of Cole's life. It was my first real outing alone. I ran a few errands, got a massage and then went and got spray tanned. It was during my massage that I began to leak (you know, from the boobs). It wasn't a problem because I was on my tummy the entire time. It was a different story when I went to get airbrushed. As I said before, it was my first outing alone in a very long time and gosh darn it, I wanted to make the best out of my day. I shortly began to regret my enthusiasm when I noticed that the milk began to trickle just as the airbrush girl got started spraying away. I apologized over and over again. All she kept saying was, "girl don't worry, I've seen it all....but one thing that has never happened was getting shot by a boob." Let's just say that her worst fear came true on that particular day. From that day on I realized that my life would never be the same.



I originally planned to keep Cole on the teat until his first birthday. Well, that is just not happening. He really could care less if he is breast fed or bottle fed, but me on the other hand, I think it was time.



I'm proud of myself. I know it's not that big of a deal, because, "whatever there are people that do it for like 13 years." Ok, yeah so those people have issues and me on the other hand, I rarely follow through with long term goals that I set for myself. Long story short, I just about gave up on nursing 20 million times during Cole's first week and the point that I hung in there for this long means a lot to me. I look at it this way, 7 months of boob, is a hell of a lot better than 7 months of formula. The end!



p.s. Baby Boy, I hope and pray the past seven months is enough to provide you with a healthy start in life. I love you, and every second of it was with it.



p.s.s Good luck to all you mothers out there who are currently breast feeding your baby(s). I'm so proud of you. Hang in there ... it's worth the struggle.



R.I.P. Symphony II 



Carrie said...

I am proud of you for going this long. Not that I have even have a clue of what you went through, but I can only imagine. Great Job!

Dana said...

If it's a double pump I'll take it off your hands:)