Dear Cole

Just because I’m a dead beat mother and have yet to write down one single word in Cole’s baby book, I thought I would take a second to jot down what Cole is up to these days. Yes, I said it and I admitted to it, not one SINGLE WORD PEOPLE! Please don’t hate!




Dear Cole,


Today you are 1 year, 1 month, 2 Weeks and 4 Days Old. You are …


1. … An angel! A complete and total gem and I love you to pieces. I thought I’d start with this because once I get into the list you may start to wonder if I still love you. Yes, the answer is yes baby boy.


2. You love the dishwasher almost more than you love white and pink iced/sprinkled animal cookies. It never fails … you are merrily entertaining yourself in the living room and could care less about what I’m doing. The second you hear me putting dishes away, before I know it, there you are sitting on the dishwasher door exploring the dishes and gnawing away at the steak knives.


3. My last resort these days has been Tylenol. I hate to admit to you and to the internet that I have been drugging you but hey, there is no holding back on this blog. The other day I scooped you up from your Nana and Grandpa’s house, took you home and watched you transform into an animal. You were pissed off at me, pissed off at your bottle, pissed off at your toy horse for looking at you, pissed off at your crib, pissed off at your toys, PISSED OFF AT THE WORLD! I didn’t know what to do with you, as you have never acted so discontented in your life. I’m not sure if having spent a total of four days with both sets of your grandparents totally ruined you by spoilage, but I really began to think that I came home with someone‘s nightmare baby. You didn’t have any fever, you had no new sprouting teeth and quite frankly there was nothing wrong with you, besides your bad attitude. I was desperate, and I did the unthinkable. I went straight to the medicine cabinet, pulled out the Tylenol and drugged you. Yep, I gave you a full dose! No lie, within 5 minutes you were a new baby. Happy as could be and I was actually able to keep my sanity that day. Dear Tylenol, I love you more than you will ever know. Thank you for chilling out my non-sick child.


4. Walking? Psaaahhhh, yeah right. You could care less about getting up off your knees. Wow, that sounded perverted, but you know what I mean, right? I keep trying to have you hold on to my hands and walk around the house but you will have none of that. You protest by lifting up your legs and squealing at the top of your lungs like a little girl. I must admit that this routine has really developed your abs, as they are now baby abs of steel. I’m thinking about entering you in the next Baby Hercules contest because I think you may have a chance at the gold.


5. Not sure where my good eating baby went. Around the one year mark, your eating habits began to rapidly spiral downward. YOU.ARE.THE.PICKIEST.EATING.BABY.EVER! I used to spend hours upon hours slaving over the stove making you specialty items, only to have you turn your head in disgust. At first I would take it personally and get my feelings hurt. Then, I decided that it was not worth the battle so I caved. I worried that you were going to starve to death so I began giving you the foods that you requested. For about a week straight you ate nothing but candy corn, white and pink iced/sprinkled animal cookies, gold fish, yogurt, bananas and peanut butter crackers. I quickly realized that this was an extremely bad habit to start, so I had to put an end to your binge-fest and now I’m back at stage one, making you healthy meals, only to have you reject them by throwing them right back in my face. I’ve even tried to go back to feeding you myself, but nooooooooooo you’re too much of a big boy and will have nothing to do with it. You prefer to hold the spoon yourself and use it as a drum on your high chair. One thing that we finally found that you like is sushi. It’s a pricey snack, but hey, I’m willing to pay hundreds just to see green vegetables go into your mouth. 


6. My sociable, lovable, flirty baby has suddenly turned into a bashful little man. Last week we were at the Nordstrom makeup counters when a beautiful makeup artist came up to say hi to you. You so wanted to put your game fact on and start macking away, but at the same time, you wanted to be shy. You put your head down on my shoulder and squeezed your little eyes shut as if that would make her go away. Then as soon as she would walk off, you would poke up your melon head and start laughing and waving at her making her skip back to you. By the time she got back, you were back to hiding on my shoulder, rinse and repeat for way to long. The Lancôme lady got a kick out of it, and I thought it was pretty damn funny as well.


7. You just started this not to long ago … when I’m lugging all 25 pounds of you around on my hip, your little hand goes straight into my hair. It doesn’t matter if I’m wearing my hair down or in a pony tail. You automatically start twirling away. I love it!


8. That’s all I have time for now, but the list should be much longer. You just woke up and are talking to yourself in your crib so I better go save you. I love you!








p.s. Cole, by reading your milestones above, I’m sure you can see that this has been a rather difficult month. I look at it like this … what goes around, comes around. I remember when you were a newly born baby, I thought you were the world’s best baby, well because really though, you were! I had friends who were dealing with colic and sleepless nights, and lucky me … I was busy dealing with the perfect baby! WHEEEEEEW ALMIGHTY! HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED! What goes around, seriously comes right back around. Even though this has been a difficult time for us all, it has been one of the most memorable times for your father and I. We are learning how important it is to work together and stay on the same page, because right now what you need is consistency from both of us. We love you sweet baby Cole!


Dana said...

That was a sweet blog:) Here's a fact about kids and eating, especially starting at age one...it takes an average of 10 times for a toddler to be introduced to a new food before they will even put it in their mouths. Yes, I said 10 times on the plate! So, don't get discouraged about getting food thrown back at you. Keep putting new things next to his old favorites and before you know it he will be making new favorites! Hang in there.

Christina said...

gosh i miss your humor! love it! can't wait to meet the female version of cole :)