1.31.2010

17 Month Letter To Cole

Dear Cole,



Last week, on Groucho’s birthday, you turned 17 months old. I can’t even remember the last time I wrote to you updating you on your milestones, and I’m sorry for that. We have all been busy preparing for your sister, Birtha. You know, real important things like making hair bows, shopping on Etsy and getting anything and everything monogrammed. Real busy, baby boy, I promise. Ok, really though I have no excuse as to why I have not written to you in so long, but I did so good your first year, so maybe that can make up for my slacking.



Speaking of Birtha … Don’t worry, we are not going to name your sister Birtha, we just call her that while she is in the womb. We had such a hard time coming up with her name and at times I sat and wished you could talk, because your opinion would mean the world to me. That’s if you wanted to name her something normal, nothing like Sponge Bob Square Pants. I know this sounds crazy, but I think you really understand that your Mama is having a baby. We tell you 563 times a day, “Show us your baby sister”. You walk, ok sometimes crawl straight over to me, rip up my shirt and stick your finger in my stretched out, pale, freaky looking belly button. Others would disagree, saying that you have no idea what’s going on, because sometimes we tell you to show us the baby and you go up to your Dad or Tootsie and raise their shirt and pry your dirty little finger nails into the bottom of their belly buttons. I beg to differ, though. When we are alone, you sometimes sit and pat on Birtha for no reason at all. The other day we were chilling on our bed playing around and being rambunctious when all the sudden you stopped what you were doing, lifted up my shirt and rested your tiny head on my belly. It’s like you were trying to listen to her. The weirdest part is that you stayed like that for about 10 minutes. I don’t think you have ever sat that still your entire life, it was surreal. I just sat there in silence, watching you and hoping that the moment would never end. You’re incredibly awesome, baby!



Walking! Yes, you’re finally walking. You were the last baby in your Mother’s Day Out class to start walking. I would pick you up from school and I would be waiting in line behind all the other mothers who actually showed up early to pick up their children. I would see their offspring walk, sometimes even run into their mother’s arm. Nope, not you. The second you would see me, you would scootch on over with the biggest grin on your face. It wasn’t so much a crawl, you looked more like Hunchback of Notre Dame, with your one leg out in front you pulling the rest of your body along. I guess you found out that this was a faster way to get around, but people thought it was hilarious. Me? Well I didn’t think it was so amusing, as I would think of a paraplegic every time I saw you doing it. Have you ever seen the way a person whom has lost there legs maneuvers themselves? This was exactly how you looked, only a miniature version. In fact it made me grateful to have such a healthy boy.



Anyways, ok enough about the crawling and on to your walking. We are so proud of you baby boy. I know why you decided to wait so long, you wanted to be the careful one on the block to avoid unnecessary trips to the ER, right? You have the cutest walk in America. For some reason you hold your arms down and back behind your body, as if they catch your eye, they will break your concentration. This causes you to arch your chest out, making you look super macho. Love it. Just for the record, since I still have not written one darn word in your baby book, lets just say your first official day of walking was in the middle of January 2010.



 

I’m not sure what clicked in your head, but ever since you started walking, you have this new sense of confidence and you don’t get near as frustrated as you used to. A few months ago you went through a phase where nothing seemed to make you happy. You were not content when you woke up, while you were eating or while you were playing. All you would do is sit and bellyache. This really worried me; I really started to worry if something was wrong with you. I remember calling Tootsie in tears exclaiming that, “something is wrong with my baby”. I feared that you had some crazy brain tumor, because you would always grab your head and cry. I think I was being a little paranoid, as I have been reading two blogs these days whom both are mothers of babies with cancer. I think this really freaked me out and made me a little over-cautious. You still grab your head from time to time, but I think it is something you do when you are tired. Plus your pediatrician is not worried, so I shouldn't be either.



Back to these two blogs that I have been reading. I don’t know why I do it, but I can’t stop checking in on these two sweet babies. It makes me sick to my stomach and really upset anytime they have bad news, and on these days I tell myself to not go back to the website. Before I know it, the next day rolls around and I am constantly checking twitter to make sure everything is ok with them. I don’t come anywhere close to being able to relate to the parents, besides the fact that I have a youngster that is the same age as their child. The only difference is that I am blessed with a healthy child who does not have to wake up each morning wondering if the cancer is taking over his little body. I’m sad to say that after reading these families stories I really don’t know if I would have it in me to handle everything that they have to go through. Both of the mothers are incredibly strong and will do anything and everything to fight the gruesome disease. It really makes me realize how lucky I am to have a healthy, happy baby like you. Sometimes after reading the blogs I will go downstairs and just sit and watch you sleep and thank God for bringing you into my life. I pray daily for these two children and at the same time I pray that my children will remain in good health. ***



Cole, I know you love your cousin Caden, but you just choose to not show it on the outside. Ok let's be honest … hot damn baby boy, you are straight up mean to him. I know you are just a baby and probably have no idea what you are doing, but still, sometimes I wonder about you. You are interested in Caden for ummm, yeah about 30 seconds and then you are back to your own little world. We have to watch you because you like to throw things at Caden’s head. Another thing that you do is snatch toys out of Caden’s hands constantly. You will then play with the stolen toy for 10 seconds, and then throw it aside. I can’t figure out of you are jealous, or just need a lesson in sharing. Readers help me out, is 17 months too young to start teaching how to share? I know one day Caden is going to step it up and get crunk on you and until that day comes, I guess you will continue to be a bully. You are so lucky to have a cousin that is so close in age to you, and you should be nice to him, you hear?



You continue to crack me up daily. You eat a waffle almost every morning and before I serve it to you I blow on it to make sure it won’t burn your mouth. I guess you caught on because now when I hand it to you, you sit there and blow on it yourself. So damn cute. Also, I guess you saw me blowing out a candle one day and now when we walk by the candle you give one puff as if you’re blowing out the unlit candle.



No! Yes! No! Yes, you have started to shake your head no. I was hoping you would not catch on to the word, but no such luck. I just look at you and for the fun of it shake my head yes and you automatically start shaking your head no. Trouble! It’s also weird, sometimes I put food on your plate that you have never seen before, and just by looking at it you already know that you are not going to like it, and start shaking your head. I think you like to believe that you can foresee the future, because I can be all the way across the kitchen chopping up some carrots or something for you and before I even start to walk to your tray with the food, you are already shaking your head no. Is this normal?



The other day we were riding in the car and I was talking to a friend on speaker phone. She said something funny and I started laughing. I looked back at you in your car seat and you were making fun of me. Yes, you’re only 17 months old and you are already making fun of my laugh. Now, anytime you hear Mama laughing you bust out this crazy, fake laugh imitating me. You crazy!



Alright baby boy, there is so much more going on in your life right now that I would love to write about but Mama is tired, as you kept her up until 4am, for the second night in a row. You have the green snots from hell! I’ve felt so sorry for you that I’ve been letting you sleep in our bed so I can watch over you, and I wake up to hear you moaning in your sleep. You are absolutely miserable, and I hope you get better soon. Please do me a favor, and don’t get Mama sick again. I have gotten way too many illnesses from you this year and for just once I ask for you to keep this one to yourself.



I love you Cole-Man! You are so much fun to be around and I thank God each and every day that he has brought you to us. What a special blessing you are. Enjoy your last month of being the only child. Mama and Dad are going to try and make it extra special for you. Maybe we will start off by taking you to Marble Slab for some ice cream today. Damn, that sounds good!



Love,

Mama

*** If any of my readers out there are interested in following the two babies I mentioned above, here is a link to their mom’s blogs. Maybe you could do me a favor and pray for them too, please.

www.laylagrace.org

www.caringbridge.org/visit/gavinribaya/journal

2 comments:

Tootsie said...

Make the correction that Cole began to walk the middle of Jan. We don't want him to think he was almost 18 months old before he gave up his funny crawl. Tootsie loves you lots Cole-man!

Dana said...

You can never start teaching him to share too early, but also don't expect too much from him right away:)