1.15.2010

Random Fact #21

Some of you are going to think this is a really harsh and ugly thing to say, but I'm going to go ahead and be honest with you guys.

Random Fact #20 : Before this pregnancy began, I never wanted to have a girl.

 

Remember the video post from a while back revealing the gender of baby #2? I know this sounds selfish, but what you didn’t get to see was me going to the back room and balling my eyes out after I opened the box. There I said it. Yes, I am grateful given the chance to have another child, blah, blah, blah. Really though, I honestly feel for the people out there who are itching at the chance to just get pregnant, whom hope and pray for a healthy baby, regardless of the gender.

If I had the choice I would want this one to be another boy. It's not so much that I have anything against little girls or dislike them, but you guys know what I'm talking about, right? We all did it as youngsters, dreamed and planned out our lives ahead of us. Well, I always assumed and planned that I would have four boys and that would be the end of the story. Since we were planning on adopting the next three I thought that my dream had a chance of becoming a reality. Seriously though, little boys are just SO MUCH FUN, and sometimes I find myself getting a bit envious when I hear that one of my friends is expecting a little boy. Friends remind me that I am a girly-girl myself and everyone comments how they can't see me without having a girl to dress up and take shopping. The thing is I was going to be just fine dressing up, borrowing and spoiling all of my friends and sibling’s baby girls.

Yeah, I'm sure some of you are thinking I'm the most shallow, annoying human being, that will rot in hell but I just wanted to go ahead and throw this out there just so I don't hear one more person say, "Oh, how perfect your family is, a boy and a girl".

Love,

Heartless Lane

Dear Birtha,

I promise I will not love you any less than I do your brother, this just makes you that more unique and special to our family. I already love you so much and I can't wait until you get here, when we can really start bonding as mother and daughter. Until that day comes, hang in there; Mama is here to take care of you and nourish your precious little GIRLY self.

Love,

Mama

4 comments:

Dana said...

You are not heartless. We all have feelings one way or another about what gender we want our children to be. I was dissapointed when I heard Hudson was going to be a boy...that is why I didn't want to find out the gender ahead of time. No one can not love him once he is in your arms. You know you will feel the same for Birtha:)

Kelly said...

I love and utterly respect your honesty- no matter what it is that comes out of your mouth. Because you keep it real, and I think a lot of people who would criticize you, would benefit from a dose of blunt hard honesty.

And what's so wrong with coming out and saying it? You won't love her any less. The vision you had for your future won't be your reality- everyone gets upset when that happens! And it happens all the time.

Tootsie said...

Sometimes things that we least expect to be are some of our greatest blessings.

Misha said...

At least you are honest! Most people aren't even honest with themselves. I'm terrified to have lots of boys. You are allowed your own opinion, we all know you will still love your precious little girl. And if you don't, we will just take her! J/K!
Keep up the good blogging!
Misha