Once I have the Tot, I Will:

List of things that I am looking forward to doing once I pop this kid out:


1. Sleep on my tummy.


2. Sleep throughout the night (hence, not waking up 5 times to piss). And by the way, did I mention that every single time I get up to go to the restroom Swazie Cakes follows me to the restroom and stares at the sink begging for me to place her on the counter so she can get a fresh sip of water? So, basically these short pee trips are taking on average 3 minutes each. Together that is 15 minutes of sleep that I'm missing.


3.  Hold and love on our little Tater Tot.


4. See Pook holding our baby for the first time.


5. Drink a beer.


6. Sip on a martini.


7. Help myself to a glass bottle of La Crema. (Wow I sounds like an alcoholic)


8. Tie my shoes without worrying about scrunching the Tot.


9. Quit having to explain to people why I have gained so much weight.


10. Not have to lie and tell people I feel great when in all honesty I feel like complete dump.


11. Have crazy, wild, animal sex again (hurry and move on to #12 so you don't get a mental picture).


12. Go running.


13. Booze with the girls.


14. Laugh at my sister while drinking wine in front of her face (paybacks are a beiotch sista). Oh yeah, also drink a white Russian in front of her face (yep, you remember that one too don't you?).


15. Did I mention already that I can't wait to love on my new baby cakes?


16. DIET, diet, diet!


17. Actually shave my massive bush without my husbands' assistance.


18. Wear my skinny clothes at last.


19. Go on a shopping spree to buy out little Tater Tot all the adorable clothes. Too hard to do now, because we don't know the sex.


20. Get out of bed without Pook's assistance.


21. Get back into my photography "career".


22.  Take a gazillion pictures of the Tator Tot.


23. Taking our first family photo.


25. Sport my hooker heels without getting a reaction from everyone and their mother.


26. Introduce the Tot to Swazie for the first time.


27. FINALLY...find out if the Tater Tot is a boy or girl.


28. Suprise everyone with the baby name. That's if we ever decide on a freaking name.


29. Whitten my teeth.


30. Paint my toe nails all by myself.


31. Let Swazie sleep on my tummy like she used to. Poor thing, she is so confused when I spaz the hell out anytime she places her paw near my belly.


32. Not have to sleep in Pook's basketball shorts anymore... (p.s. and they are tight people).


33. Breath again.


34. Drink as many gingerbread latte's as I damn please.


35. And last but not lease ...wake up in the morning without having sharp cooter pains.



All of you non- pregnant people, you see what you are missing out on???


Kathleen said...

A few comments:
1. You can't, your boobs will hurt. Sorry.
2. You'll be awake much longer than 15 min each night. Remember you gotta feed the Tot. Enjoy the 3 min pee sessions.
8. It'll be nice, but then you're going to have to deal with seeing all your jelly rolls for a while. Sorry, just being honest.
11. Good Luck with that. It'll be a while!
17. Your showers will be so fast, prob won't have time for the bush anyway. Sorry.
18. Remember it could take 9 months to get back into them. Sucks, I know.
27 & 28. The ULTIMATE surprise! Worth every day you've waited!
29. Not if you're nursing. I am still waiting to do that.
3, 4, 15, 19, 22, 23, 24, 26 All so amazing. Enjoy and remember these times, they go fast!

Kenna said...

WOW! All those things you listed makes me wanna get preggo right now! i'll be back....I'm gonna go get laid for the first time in a LOONNG TIME!

Dana said...

I totally understand your pain and hated every minute of pregnancy. Although some of the things listed won't happen for quite a while and you will develop a whole mess of other problems and complaints after the baby pops out, I promise it is way easier to have the kid on the outside and reclaim a few of your old body parts every day. Some people enjoy pregnancy and there are others who don't. However, you do forget all these things and will do it all again. I swore I wouldn't do it again and look at me now! Hang in there:)

Jaimie said...

Ahh the joys of womanhood!! But I have to agree some of these things wont happen right away...
*You do have to get up at night to feed the baby, but if your nursing just lay down, pop that tator tot on the boob and go right back to sleep...remember you give the baby what goes in, Jonathan gets what comes out. So give yourself a few extra moments while he changes baby then you feed em (nurse told me that in the hospital, I love it!)
*yea no sex til dr says it ok, even then its gonna hurt the first few times
*you can drink but only a little no "white russians" for tator tot.
*AND make sure those gingerbread lattes are decaf too much caffine is not good for baby.
*Remember nursing helps so much with losing the weight, as your feeding your honeybun you are also burning calories.
*Enjoy your new amazing little baby!!!