There are many thoughts going on inside my head these past few months that I would like to remember. I have yet to write anything down so I thought I’d spit out a quick post so I’ll never forget this stage in my life.
First of all, for those that care, I’ll give you a cervix update. As of last Monday, I’m still effaced, umm duh, I don’t think you can reverse the effacement process. Anyways, so yeah about 80% effaced and 1.5 cm dilated. Baby girl is also very low, if I were to guess I’d say +1 position, but that’s me just going off what Dr. Cook describes as really low. I have another appointment this afternoon so I’m excited to see if anything have changed.
Ok, now onto a few things that I would write in my journal, if I had a journal, but since I don’t have a journal all you internet people get to read or choose not to read all that has been going on with me these days.
- During last weeks appointment we set up an induction date. I’m supposed to go into the hospital tomorrow (yes, TOMORROW, yikes!) night. At that time they will put cervical (sp?) on my cervix and get the pitocin started Wednesday morning. The only problem is, I’m really not feeling good about any of this. My gut feeling is to cancel the induction all together and let her come on her own. My doctor really made it seem like Birtha would have made her début on her own by now, but no such luck. Part of me wants to cancel the induction because I want her to cook until she feels ready to come on out and meet Mama; however, part of me wants to hold off because I’m so not ready! Everyone tells me, “Oh my gosh Lane, I don’t think you could be more prepared”. Yes, my bags have been packed for weeks, I’ve cleaned the house from head to toe, I’ve ordered every damn bow under the sun, I’ve washed all of her clothes (maybe twice). I’ve actually done some wacky things to prepare for baby girl, but I’ll spare you the details before you all think I’m nutso. I swear, I’ve never acted this way in my life. I feel like I have OCD. Goodness gracious, I really do have sympathy for those that have been diagnosed with this illness because, OH.MY.GOSH.I’M.DRIVING.MYSELF.CRAZY! Anyways, I just went off subject big time there …surprise! Let’s get back to the induction. Like I said, part of me wants to wait until she is ready to come on her own, but the other part of me is really not ready for her to be here. It’s not that I’m not thrilled about meeting her, because I am. To be quite honest, I’m afraid that I will totally suck at being the mother of two babies under the age of two. I mean seriously, I can barely take care of one baby my myself, yet alone two. I know there is no holding back now, but I feel like if I can prolong this process then I have a little more time to prepare myself mentally. If anyone has any advice for me, please do send it my way. Is it normal to feel this worried so late in the game?
- Cole has been spoiled to death this past week. I keep thinking, “Oh I’m sure she’ll come tomorrow, so I better make Cole’s last day as an only child super special today.” And then, we wake up the next morning and have another extra special day, because it just may be the last. This has been going on for 7 days now, and I’m started to wonder if it is going to confuse him even more once Birtha arrives. I’ve even let him sleep in the bed with us most nights. He digs it, big time. I don’t get much sleep when his foot is launched in my face all night, but I still love it. I love snuggling my baby cakes as he falls asleep. Such a precious baby, he is.
- I think everyone and their mother is tired of hearing about my cooter. I talk about it so much now that it doesn’t even cross my mind that the grocery checker-outter lady could care less how bad my cooter hurts. Hey if you ask how I’m doing, your going to get a thorough and in depth explanation, even if it is about something totally uncalled for. Other than my hormonal headaches, my cooter pain has been the worst pregnancy symptom thus far. I get up from sitting and I feel like I’m going to fall to the ground. I wake up in the mornings and it feels as if someone was beating me with a baseball bat in the middle of the night. I’m not exaggerating it really is that bad. I have always had double jointed hips (wooooo TMI, I know) but I think this has something do with it. I think my hips naturally slip out of place allowing baby to rest her noggin far down there.
- One other weird thing that I never had with Cole is these nerves on the inside of my legs. Wow, maybe I should have bought a journal and kept all this information in it, because I just realized that this post is beginning to get out of control. If you want go on ahead to your next blog feed, I think its best for both of us. Ok, so you know when you do that exercise at the gym when you spread your legs around the machine and push in with your knees. You know, the one that you always have to pull down your shorts for, because your worried that the dirty meat head may see your panties.? Anyways, it’s that muscle that is killing me. All the sudden baby girl will move and hit a nerve and it sends a shooting pain to that muscle, making me stop in my tracks. Sometimes it’s so sudden and harsh that I have to take a seat on the ground wherever I am at. Yes, it was kind of awkward when this happened to me in the middle of Nordstrom’s yesterday.
- Birtha is a mover and shaker. She is always going nuts as if she is having some wild dance party inside of my tummy. I would say that she moves 75% more than Cole ever did. I love it most of the time; but sometimes it gets a little out of control, especially when she is preparing for soccer practice on Thursday afternoons. I wonder if this correlates with how active she will be outside of the womb; because hot damn, if she is 75% more active than Cole, then Lord please help me now!
- Baby girl has it going on in the fashion world already. I have had so much fun shopping for her. Ok, so I’ve gone a little out of control, but oh my gosh, it’s just so much fun to shop for girls. Not to mention shopping for Cole and Birth’s correlating outfits. Oh my holy Easter, you just watch out because I’m determined to find the most fabulous matching Easter outfits.
- I don’t want to forget some of the names we thought about naming Birtha, so I’ll throw a few out there. There were so many that I really can’t even remember them all, but I’ll try my best.
- Ava
- Hilton
- Avery
- Harper
- Ella
- Lucy
- Bella (ok, that one was all me, not so much Pook’s)
- Kate
- Olivia
- There are many more, but there’s a fart on my brain this morning.
- This is totally off topic, but speaking of names. Let me teach my readers a lesson real fast. It will totally benefit you if you keep your baby‘s name to yourself until he/she is born.. Holy batman balls, I never realized how many opinions are out here. Ok, so maybe I asked for there opinions, but still. Let’s take for example, the name Tate! My whole entire life, yep that would be 26 years of hoping and dreaming of naming my baby boy was shot to hell. Don’t get me wrong, I love Cole’s name so much, it was always my most favorite, 2nd in line to the name Tate. Shut your mouth if you don’t like it, because I don’t want to hear it. Well, when I was pregnant with Cole I went to tell my Mom and Sister that we decided on the name. When I told them the name was Tate, I think my Mom just about fell on the floor laughing and Leah, well she’s a jerk and said, “ok, I’ll just call him Taint for the rest of his life.” Rude! I thought about standing my ground and sticking with the name, but all I kept thinking about was a damn TAINT every time I thought of my unborn son. So nope, I’m not bitter or anything. You would have thought that after this episode in the 1st pregnancy that I would have held off on telling the name again, but for some reason I opened my big mouth again. Let’s just say that it’s an awesome idea to keep the name between you and your husband until the little one arrives.
Alright, I was planning on this post being a short and sweet list of what is going on in my life these days, but obviously I got a little side tracked and wrote about the most random things ever. Now you all get to see how my brain works. A little all over the place, wouldn’t you say?
I could go on with the randomness, but there are windows to be washed, porches to be swept and nails to be painted. Peace out my friends, maybe next time we meet again I’ll be a part of a family of 4. FOUR! FOUR PEOPLE IN MY FAMILY? HOLY COW, remind me when all this change happened?
